ASHLEY James has revealed life in the spotlight isn’t all glitz and glam with trolls going as far as to call social services.
The 37-year-old shares daughter Ada, one, and son Alfie, three, with her partner of five years Tommy Andrews.
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Ashley has garnered over 437,000 Instagram followers since appearing on Made In Chelsea and Celebrity Big Brother.
However, the reality TV star revealed in a new episode of the podcast A Gentle Start: The Showercast by Timotei that not everyone who follows her is a fan.
“When I was pregnant with my daughter Ada, I experienced trolling to a different level,” she said.
“I basically was reported to social services for neglect and it all kind of came back to this online anonymous gossip website.
“I think at the time it really upset me, but actually I think quickly that sadness or fear was actually replaced by anger.
“I know how loved my children are and I know that I’m such a good mum, that’s weirdly one thing I’ve never ever doubted.”
Ashley said her parenting choices are influenced by the different challenges her children may face in the future.
She has noticed that people will speak to them differently because of their gender.
“So, with my son Alfie it’s like ‘oh he’s going to be a heartbreaker,’” she said.
“I don’t want him to become another victim of toxic masculinity where he feels like he has to toughen up and I don’t want Ada to feel like she has to be meek or to be quiet.
“What if I don’t like boys who tell me I need to be quiet? Why was that never an option?”
Ashley’s decision to let her children be themselves without conforming to society’s expectations is representative of how she lives her own life.
She said starting to post unedited photos of herself on Instagram back in around 2014 “felt quite radical.”
“It wasn’t really the done thing to see people that weren’t Photoshopped or didn’t filter themselves,” she said.
“I think thankfully it’s much more normal now.”
“I wanted my Instagram to start being a bit more honest for myself but also for other women,” she added.
The This Morning presenter constantly reminds herself not to worry about how other people will perceive her.
She said old photos of her look “soulless” because of how they were edited.
Different parenting techniques
Here are some widely recognised methods:
Authoritative Parenting
This technique will often foster independence, self-discipline, and high self-esteem in children.
It is often considered the most effective, this technique is where parents set clear expectations – enforcing rules – whilst also showing warmth and support.
Authoritarian Parenting
This is opposite to authoritative parenting, as it is where the parent sets high demands but is low on responsiveness.
It involves ensuring the child is obedient and often employ punitive measures. While this can lead to disciplined behaviour, it may also result in lower self-esteem and social skills in children.
Permissive Parenting
Permissive parents tend to be indulgent and lenient, often taking on a role more akin to a friend than an authority figure. They are highly responsive but lack demandingness, granting children a lot of freedom. This method can nurture creativity and a free-spirited nature but may also result in poor self-regulation and difficulties with authority.
Uninvolved Parenting
Uninvolved or neglectful parenting is marked by low responsiveness and low demands. Parents in this category offer minimal guidance, nurturing, or attention. This often leaves children feeling neglected, which can have significant negative effects on their emotional and social development.
Helicopter Parenting
Helicopter parents are extremely involved and overprotective, frequently micromanaging their children’s lives. Although their goal is to protect and support, this approach can hinder a child’s ability to develop independence and problem-solving skills.
Free-Range Parenting
Free-range parenting encourages children to explore and learn from their surroundings with minimal parental interference. This method promotes independence and resilience but requires a safe and supportive environment to be successful.
Attachment Parenting
According to Marriage.com, Attachment parenting focuses on physical closeness and emotional bonding, often through practices such as co-sleeping and baby-wearing. This approach aims to create secure attachments and emotional well-being, but demands significant time and emotional commitment from parents.
Each of these parenting techniques has its own set of strengths and weaknesses. The key is to find a balanced approach that aligns with the family’s values and meets the child’s needs for a healthy, happy upbringing.
Ashley argued people should live for themselves.
“It’s a bit cheesy to say but I always think when I’m on my death bed I’m not going to be like ‘thank goodness I didn’t eat carbs’ or ‘thank goodness I managed to wear the smaller dress size,’” she said.
“You think about the people that you hugged or the mountains that you climbed.
“All the things your body allows you to do, it kind of doesn’t matter about how it looked as long as you’re strong and healthy.”
Ashley was “exhausted” worrying about the opinions of other people while starring in Made in Chelsea.
She appeared on the reality TV show for two seasons back in 2013.
It centres around the lives of rich people but at the time, she was living in her outdraft.
“I couldn’t afford to get the tube so I was walking to set,” she said.
“I kind of felt like I was living this weird lie and I think that’s also why I’m so unapologetic in who I am now.”
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