DEAR ABBY: I had a five-year relationship with a man. We broke up because he was unfaithful. Even though I’m willing to forgive and still have feelings for him, my kids don’t like this man and don’t want me to reconnect with him. My children say that if I do, they no longer want to have a relationship with me.
Their ultimatum doesn’t seem fair. I’m afraid I won’t fall in love again, and I don’t want to be alone later in life. Should I respect my kids’ wishes and forgo a relationship with him, or should I seek outside guidance and counseling to see if we can try to be a family, like we had planned originally? I really feel he’s the love of my life. No one’s perfect. I’m willing to give it another chance, but I want my kids to accept him. I don’t know how or if they ever will. What should I do? — LEANING TOWARD IT IN TEXAS
DEAR LEANING: Fear is the absolute WORST reason for a couple to reunite. Your relationship didn’t work out because he is a cheater. What makes you think this time would be different? There are worse things than being older and alone. There is no guarantee you wouldn’t meet someone and fall in love.
Your children dislike this man for a reason. You ask if you should seek outside guidance and counseling. Speaking as the first person you have asked, I’m all in favor of it. Your doctor can refer you to someone qualified.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
